It is a worldwide suicide

I arrived safe and tired in Paris after a 4-hour/$15 New York-Boston bus trip, followed by a 12-hour/$219 Airtech flight to Paris, punctuated by a 45-minute/priceless layover in Reykjavik (Iceland); on the day of my 23rd birthday, only to realize at my arrival that the war in Lebanon was real, that it had obviously survived the week end and that my relatives were there to bear.

I have yet to answer the kind and heart-warming e-mails I received to wish me a happy birthday and I apologize for not having done so yet, especially to Sean – thank you Sean for your trust… Some matters are currently making me boil inside and others are keeping me busy here in Paris but I hope to soon have more mind for my dear friends.

So between broken news on TV and broken voices on the phone, I have decided that it was time to say something and acknowledge that all this is not leaving me indifferent. I am not there, I am not from there, I am not to go there, I don't quite care who's there now that my grandfather is not anymore, but I am Lebanese; and needless to say how I feel the world since last Thursday, when I saw the first images of black, red and yellow in Beirut's sky.

I've just finished reading the blog of a female compatriot who's currently in Beirut, where she's witnessing a nation being massacred, as she endures the constant bombings and the brotherly pain of countless children, women and elderly people. Every day she tells, when she finally makes it to sleep and wakes up hoping for a bad dream, she realizes that the war has really taken over and that she's totally powerless. So she goes back to daydreaming about better days, when the future is rosy again and the whistling birds are the only ones daring to break through the early morning...

But it's not. All that it is… is a worldwide suicide. And the kids are NOT alright, and the elderly women are not safe, and the pregnant ladies are just two lives that might be lost instead of one, and there is no one who can do anything about it. It really is a shame to awake in a world of such pain. So why go to sleep?

And why such a war that no one knows what it's for?

And what in the world don't we know that is creating so much corruption and hatred?

And who's getting something out of all these tears and cries?

This is of course true of any conflict… To the exception that this is Lebanon. And this is Israel. These are countries whose history should have made wise and poised, rather than reactive and cold. These are countries whose citizens have suffered long enough not to feel this indifferent to the waste their leaders are making. These are people who are not strangers to each other’s grievance. So why not settle them around a backgammon game or some cuisine contest?

...

What struck me most in Nad’s blog is that she indeed is in the midst of a war-torn landscape but still feels secure; because she knows she is in a “safe” neighbourhood -one that is not likely to get hit because it’s not poor - and also because she’s a French citizen who will soon be repatriated to France. She nevertheless gets to hear and see the deflagrations, but pertinently knows she won't get hurt. She feels confused and unable to do anything, but also knows she’ll soon be in France, trying to do “something”.

Something… What in the world will that something be…

To a certain extent, I feel just like her, far from the reality of the conflict and still affected morally and directly as I know that every hit takes away a life or ten. A phone call… A bad news… We knew him… Or we knew her… It’s you uncle… your aunt… your grandmother… Anytime. That’s our family, that’s our friends…

But as a Lebanese, I’m doing even less to change this situation. I have no idea what more than nothing I could do: I am just one more expatriate Lebanese who couldn't care less in normal times about what's going on there, and who now feels hurt and confused… Powerless and betrayed.

So all I would like to know now is who’s going to pay for the 245 dead , including 216 civilians and 23 soldiers, and the more than 500 people who have been wounded so far in Lebanon; and who’s going to pay for the 25 dead Israelis including 13 civilians and 12 servicemen? Does it mean even more reprisals? Does it mean we need to go through even more pain to make up for these too? Does it mean there needs to be a winner?

So they all tell us to pray while the devil's on their shoulder...

But after that, who’s going to pay for all the moral affliction of the ones who are still part of this %#& world? Who’s going to make up for their lost innocence? In both camps… Who?

I don’t know… Help...

All I know for surenow -just like the rest of the world also does- is that the almighty U.S. has a clear stance on this war. Comparing the uncomparable and melting the "terrorist" pot, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton opened the door for even more killings as he sees no moral equivalence between the civilian casualties from the Israeli raids in Lebanon and those killed in Israel from "malicious terrorist acts" while W -between two geography lessons given to him at the G8 on worlwide distances- happens to think loudly (most likely with his Texan accent weaving its way back) "See the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over".

It’s over…

You say so. What we need to do is get you an education in decent (U.S.) English -as well as in geography- and get you to stop doing your shit and then it might be over.

For now, all it is is WWS.

HHHHH